How dare you treat me with such little respect you tramp!

Working has always been something that I don't particularly like but never not want to attend. I have the luxury of having a good boss and work with a large percentage of my circle of friends, in fact I work with all of my mate, even the ones that don't work there because they drink in there.

It all happened on Friday evening just before my shift was due to end. A group of maybe a dozen people entered. A large man came to the bar and began to order some drinks, i did not anticipate what was to come next. He had a truly terrible confidence destroying affliction. An almighty stammer blurted from his nervous mouth. I stood there for a good ten minutes fixated but waiting whilst he ordered his drinks. I tried so desperately to keep a straight face. My co workers deserted me and I was left deciphering chicken noises crossed with drinks orders.

the reason i am writing about this gentleman with a stammer is because one of the drinks he ordered was a white wine and soda (spritzer) for those that work in bars or have some sort of affiliation with the trade will know that wine Spritzers are served in a tall glass with ice topped with soda water or if you are a plebian, lemonade.

Several minutes passed. I was then greeted by the most unpleasant looking young lady who seeked my attention. I was happy to oblige as it is my job to attend to the needs of customers. However, nobody could have prepared me for the most diabolical greeting I have ever come across whilst serving in a bar. "Exuse me! What the hell is this?'
I walked over and replied "I'm sorry madam. I don't understand the question?"
"I asked for a wine and soda and got this." She squarked.
"I can assure you madam that this drink in front of you is a wine and soda. I poured it myself."
"Yeah but, I can't drink wine out of anything but a wine glass."
How dare she undermine the way we serve drinks in our establishment. This young lady had taken her request too far. She was really beginning to piss me off. I grabbed her drink snatched a wine glass and lobbed the bottle top I was fiddling with that was relieving my stress whilst talking to this frankly absurd, drunken mess.
"I can see that you are pissed off with me. It's just that I can't drink wine from anything else than a wine glass."
What the hell is wrong with you woman? A glass is a glass. Are you that bothered about your image? If you are I really think you should remodel yourself because the current style is not working. "No madam, I am not pissed off. I just wish that you had specified the glass you wanted. In this establishment we serve them like this as standard, I am quite sure that it is the same elsewhere unless you specify." I persisted in calling her madam, it made her feel like she was in the right and i was trying to keep her sweet.

Eventually I obliged and poured her spritzer into a wine glass, went into the kitchen and cursed 'til I went purple with lack of oxygen. From the kitchen I heard an almighty crash. I marched into the bar mop in tow. Searched for the breakage/spillage. It was that woman again. a little something rejoiced inside me. She came running over pleading her innocence desperately embarrasssed.
"Don't worry about it madam."
"Give me the mop!" she ordered "I want to do it, it's my mess."
I was smiling so hard at the fact that she was trying desperately hard to get back in my good books!
"I am not even drunk, I don't know how it happened." it was like a not guilty plea in a court room.

You know what made this whole thing worse? Her name was Roberta and I bet her dad is called Robert. How he wanted his daughter to be a son. Roberta... ha ha ha ha